Depression from another angle
Which prompt to pick, which prompt to pick. For this weeks Writing Workshop I could easily have written on all of them so I’m gradually ruling them out! I ruled out prompt 5 because I did the “word” prompt last week, I covered prompt 4 here and I kind of covered 1 here, that leaves: “What does depression feel like to you” (which I suppose is the obvious choice for me) and “Write about a time you put yourself first” hmmm….
*throws hands in the air* Ok, I’m going to go with the obvious choice! I’m so predictable!
I’ve blogged about depression before, in fact, in my sidebar the word “depression” looms pretty large, if you click it you can see my previous posts. I suppose at the moment I’m writing from a different perspective, I’m not suffering at the moment, I’m not in that dark place, so let’s see what we can do.
She’s sleepy. Always sleepy. She doesn’t want to move from her bed, snuggled so safe and warm, she is so tired.
She doesn’t want to be outside. Hiding from the sunlight, preferring to stay huddled in the dark. I try to coax her out of her shell but she just looks at me with sad eyes. Eyes that used to be so bright. They used to sparkle. Her joy shone in them, but not now.
I hold her. She just sits in my arms, snuggled into me, not wanting to move or play, just quiet. So quiet.
I am no longer greeted by loud squeaking, nor am I woken up by it. It is a rare sound now. I long to hear it. I long for it to grate on my nerves.
Food is no longer important to her. She eats because she must but the enthusiasm that she used to show for it is gone. It is necessity. Nothing is fun any more.
She is so alone. No matter how much I hold her, she feels it. I can see it in her. No matter how much I love her, ultimately, she is alone.
This is my baby girl, Henrietta. Now you’re all going to think I’m nuts, but I’m not, I’m just totally soft on animals! I really feel for her, she’s my baby and she’s so sad lately. She recently lost her sister, Heidi, who she’d been with since birth, they’d never been apart, ever! Not only that she’s also had (now I’m going to sound like a real nut!) 2 Dad’s leave her (my ex partners). I know you all think I’m an idiot now, she’s “only” a guinea pig, yada yada, but she’s not! She’s very sensitive and she has her own little personality and she remembers this stuff. I’m sure it’s affecting her, she’s so quiet now, if you knew her before you’d think it was a different guinea pig. She took the loss of Heidi pretty hard but she was recovering and now she’s just getting worse again.
Anyway, I think I’m going to take her to the vets. Did you know Guinea Pigs can actually get depression? I can’t bear to see her so sad all the time, she’s my little girl and I love her to pieces.