Warning: There is talk of sex, kink and polyamory in this post! If you’re going to be offended, don’t read it!
Note: “play” does not have to mean sex, one can play without sex.
I’ve always been one of those girls who dreams of the perfect life, with the perfect husband, in the perfect house in the suburbs with the perfect children. I’ve been a big believer in soul mates and “the one,” however, recently I’ve been chatting to a couple of people (1 of whom is the reason for the constant smile on my face!) who don’t have a “traditional” relationship and I’ve slowly warmed to the idea of polyamory. Don’t think I don’t see you there judging me! I honestly never thought I’d even consider it but it makes total sense to me now. There’s a saying, is there not, that “no one is perfect” so how can you get everything you need from one person?
Now I’m not sure whether I could have someone else live with my partner and I, I do quite like to be the centre of their world! But playing with other people who I/we have a connection with seems logical. I very briefly toyed with the idea of marrying someone who wasn’t kinky, massively broadening my dating pool, and playing elsewhere but that got chucked out pretty quickly, I’m all about the 24/7 kink! But being co-topped or co-bottoming (I’m pretty sure that’s not the word!) so my partner was involved too seems like a perfect world to me.
Maybe it’s silly of us to think that if our partner loves someone else they must love us less. Those of you with children can, I’m sure, testify that you do not “share” a set amount of love between them, but each time a new one is born more love appears, much like the love for you partner is not reduced so that you have some love for your child. Why should love for romantic partners be any different? Of course this is by no means an excuse for cheating and affairs, whichever way you look at it that is betrayal, but if, after a serious discussion with your partner, you both decide to bring someone else into your bedroom or your life there should be nothing wrong with that.
I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of people out there who are shocked by the idea, a couple of years ago I was one of you, but now I’m secure and happy in myself it’s just not an issue. It’s not going to be for everyone, everyone involved needs to be mature and totally honest. I’m not going to throw out the “we were never meant to be monogamous” line, some of us where, but I’m not sure if I’m one of them.
Would love your opinions on this topic. Also pondering a sex/kink related series, maybe one post a week (read: month given how lax my blogging is at the moment!) about something kinky? What do we think?